A Social Experiment in vulnerability

“I know this sounds crazy but this spa have a series of workshops about vulnerability,” Sarah looked at me over the phone, “want to join?”. She paused for a moment, “Naked…”

“Naked?”, my mind raced to comprehend what she was suggesting. I was just about formulating some kind of response when Sarah continued.

“Yeah, that is … you have to be naked. I will wear my regular bathing suit.”

Whatever response I was about to give was wiped away in an instant. Finally I stuttered, “So, me naked, you clothed”, just to say something.

She sat up, “See, it is a social experiment. In any mixed group women tend to be at disadvantage due to a feeling of vulnerability. By putting men in a comparable vulnerable situation, we even out the disadvantage.” Sarah worked with behavioral design, the idea clearly piqued her professional interest.

“So, me naked and you and other women clothed … in a spa,” I attempted again. If you couldn’t answer a question, you could at least repeat the question slowly. Trusted and proven technique.

“It is nothing sexual. Quite the opposite. Then have a zero tolerance policy on anything sexualized. It is a safe space”

“I’ll … I’ll think about it”, I already knew that Sarah had decided for us and that I eventually would agree. Sarah had that effect.

Three days later we were driving to the spa. I had read the invite multiple times, poured over every ounce of information. Especialy the FAQ about “unwanted reactions”. I am not sure if it was comforting or scaring me even more. Rationally I knew what I entering.

“Are you ready, we can bail if you want,” Sarah asked while parking the car.

“No, I’m fine,” I said hesitating for a bit, “Let us do it before I change my mind.”

Inside the spa we were greeted by a young woman, “Hi, I’m Priya. You must be Sarah and Tom.” She quickly went through the rules: Women in regular spa attire, men nude, no phones, no sexual behavior, and just relax and enjoy. We followed her to the entry to the men’s changing area. “This is were we leave you. See you on the other side, we start in the sauna,” she said to me. Sarah gave me a barely visible nod and I entered the changing area.

The changing area was empty but the sound of running showers and smalltalk entered from the shower area. I found a locker and undressed quickly, just grabbing my towel before heading to the showers. The three men was just about finishing up leaving for the spa, towels casually thrown over their shoulders.

As they realized I was a new participant, they greeted me warmly and joked a bit. And then they headed for the spa leaving me alone. I kind of wished I had asked them to stay, so I could enter the spa as part of a group. But here I was alone in the showers.

After a quick shower, I wrapped my towel tightly around me. Was that against the spirit of the rules? Well, I needed the comfort. I took a deep breath and headed for the spa and the sauna.

The sauna was almost full. The women was clearly in majority, all dressed in bathing suits, some also wrapped in towels. But at least a third was men. Nude, sitting or standing just talking normaly.

Sarah waved at me, roughly sitting in the center of the sauna. “Saved you a spot,” she said looking at me quizzically. As I approached her, she mouthed “towel…”.

I froze, looking concernedly around. After a bit of reluctance, I quickly unwrapped the towel, put it on the bench and sat on it. I was keenly aware of my surroundings as I sat there naked. Sarah nudged me, “See, that wasn’t so hard”.

I looked around. No one noticed, no one cared.

Part II

I was looking forward to another evening at the spa. Sarah still insisted on calling it the “vulnerability workshop”, it sounded better than “sitting in a sauna, surrounded by nude men”. This would be our fifth visit, kind of starting to be a routine. But I had to admit that the male nudity did something to the dynamic.

You could expect that it would literally turn into measuring dicks, but it worked. Men were acting more aware and everyone seemed to relax more, that in a regular mixed spa session.

Priya greeted us at the entrance as usual. “There is a bit of a change today. We only have access to the women’s changing areas, so we have to share, but we have made some privacy stalls for women to change in.”

Part of me were ready to back out. Silly, I knew that everyone had already seen me naked multiple times. But somehow this was different.

We entered the changing area and found a pair of lockers. The showers were running, but the usual smalltalk was missing. Sarah hugged me, gave a shrug and headed for the privacy stalls to change. I undressed and almost sneaked to the showers. A few showers were occupied but everyone, even the women dressed in bathing suits, were facing the walls.

I almost let out a laugh, but I had felt the change as well. Sarah joined me, “see, we’re all shy now.”

“At least you got to change in privacy and prepare mentally. I was just thrown out here stripping for everyone.”

Sarah looked at me and then back to the changing room. “For who, everyone are in the showers facing the walls.”

I thought about it for a while, “yeah, but it felt like that. I know it wasn’t rational”.

As people slowly milled into the sauna, everyone seemed to relax a bit more. Normalcy, well as normal as nude men and clothed women are, returned. Though slowly.

Priya moved to the front and made her usual welcome and added, “Sorry for the change. It wasn’t planned,” she paused, “yet.” She breathed deeply a few times, “how did it feel?”.

“Exposed,” someone suggested. Priya nodded, “Nudity is a state, you get used to it. From now on we will focus more on the vulnerability in transitions”.

Sarah leaned toward me. “So, on a scale from ‘facing the wall’ to ‘casual sauna chat,’ where are you?”

“I’m at ‘pretending the towel is an invisibility cloak,’” I tried to make a slight laugh.

“But you are not wearing the towel,” Sarah countered.

“Thanks, I am very aware of that…”.

Part III

As I returned from work, Sarah was trying out bathing suits in the bedroom, slowly removing the straps and pulling the bathing suit down.

“New bathing suit,” I asked.

“Yes, I wanted to look nice. I have to perform, remember?”

In our exploration of transitions, the plan for the night was that Sarah should be undressing me in front of the full group. I did remember, even though I tried not to think about it but just following the flow.

“Also, Priya mailed the women about a suggestion for an extra twist. Optionally of course,” Sarah continued. My interest was piqued, but no matter how quizzically I looked at Sarah, she didn’t reveal anything. I could see that she wasn’t going to reveal the surprise. So I let it go.

Priya greeted us at the spa. “Just leave the shoes and socks in the changing area,” she said directed at me, “Sarah, you can chanege in the female women’s changing area as usual”.

All men was gathered in the spa area, clothed for once. One by one the women arived dressed in their usual spa attire. The group was silent in anticipation.

Priya made her welcome. “Women, you are going to be there for your partners transition. You can be active or just support him with your presence. It is up to you as a couple”. She invited the first couple to the front of the group.

One by one, the couple moved to the front. The women undressed their partners, some with hesitation, some with decided movements. The group watched in silence. No one commented, just observing the transition from clothed to nude.

When all men were nude, Priya went to the front, “Relax and enjoy yourself. Later this evening we will have another gathering for the next part”. The silence was broken. The wait had been nervewrecking, but people agreed that the actual undressing had been a nice experience. Exposed, but still a feeling of safeness.

An hour later Priya gathered the group again. “For quite some time our rules have been ‘men naked’. We have experienced how the vulnerability changes our awareness of our surroundings,” she explained. “I have agreed with the women that it is time for reciprocity. To give you the option to share the vulnerability. There are no expectations, only an invitation to take part.”

I could feel Sarah slightly move, then hesitate.

One woman took her husband by his hand and led him to the front. “I want you to undress me”, she said looking at him, paused and turned her back to him. She looked at Priya, who nodded approvingly. Her husband hesitated, but slowly he unclasped her bikini top removing it. He put his hands on her hips, “Are you sure?” and when she nodded, he slowly pulled her bottoms down.

Sarah made a decision. Acting before she changed her mind, she pulled me to the front. “I want you to undress me,” she said.

I nodded, circled around her, my fingers following her bathing suit barely touching. I stood between her and the group. She nodded and started the pull down her straps. I took over, slowly rolling the bathing suit down, revealing her breasts. I kneeled in front of her and paused before removing her suit completely. I resisted an urge to reach out touching her body.

She took my hand and pulled me up. “Wow, that was intense,” she exclaimed.